My friends Valerie, Sarah, and I were having an email conversation about pacifiers last week. Valerie had taken Annie to the pediatrician for a regular 15-month check-up and had asked about the appropriate time to get rid of the dreaded pacifier. Her doctor told her that it was probably time - eeek! Do you know how helpful a pacifier is when putting a crying baby to bed or down for a nap? I'm not sure she was seeking advice so much as sympathy for the sleepless nights that were about to ensue. I suggested doing it on a Friday when they didn't have to go anywhere the next day. Sarah had heard of someone ditching the paci on a vacation when the child was excited and distracted. Someone else suggested "accidentally" throwing it out a car window and then racing home to gather the other dozen that would likely be strewn about the house. The only resolution that came of our email exchange was that Connor would have to propose to Annie (30 years from now - don't worry grandmothers!) with a $17000 diamond studded pacifier that Sarah found online. Problem solved.
I thought for a few seconds about cutting the pacifier cord right then and there. I quickly remembered that Matt and I had decided to do it when Connor turned 2, buying us a few more months. I rationalized this decision by telling myself he only uses is when he's in his crib. I was then reminded, as I have been so many times in the past 22 months, that parenting cannot always be conveniently planned. As my small group of blog followers probably knows, Connor has a bit of a temper (thanks, Commodore! Let's hope he has your brains too!!) - sometimes he acts out of anger, but he often does things just for the reaction. Shocking, I know. We were doing our usual going-to-bed routine on Sunday evening when (with a house full of family for a birthday and late Mother's Day dinner) Connor decided it would be funny to hit me in the face with the pacifier. Not really thinking of what I was starting, I snatched it away from him and said, "That hurt. Bye-bye paci." I put him in his bed and heard the most heart-wrenching cries he has ever made. This was not the usual "there are fun people to play with downstairs but I am upstairs" cry. This was real sadness. It was as if I had taken away his best friend. He proceeded to cry for over 30 minutes. I almost went back to his room three or four times.
On Monday morning I confessed to Miss Robin what I had done and assured her that it was not my intention to get rid of the pacifier on Sunday and send him to the sitter on Monday. Nevertheless, she said she would try naptime without the paci. Lots of tears but eventual success. Monday night was even better - he asked for the paci but only cried for ten minutes.
Connor's morning routine for the past week or so has been to say goodbye to the house (and many things in it) for several minutes on the way to Robin's. It goes something like this:
Bye house! Bye Jakes! Bye Jake's house! Bye Momma's house! Bye Daddy's house! Bye Connor's house! repeat four times :)
This morning, before we were even out the door, he said, 'Bye paci! Bye house!" I just smiled and said, "Yep. Bye-bye paci." There were no tears at bedtime tonight.
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